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-keepsmiling:

One time I heard my boyfriend had sex with another girl. So I called and asked him about it and he denied it, so I called the girl and she denied it too, and then I called my boyfriend back and told him that the girl had told me everything and he replied with “it was just one time. It meant nothing.” And then I replied with “fuck you, she didn’t tell me anything.” And that’s still my favorite story to tell.

agonizingtheorist:

You know what I hate? When people get pissed off when you tell them you don’t want them to touch you. Like excuse me, I don’t actually want you to touch my arm. I don’t want a hug right now. I don’t give a shit if you’re family. I don’t care if the phrase “I don’t want to be touched” puts you off. Just don’t fucking touch me.

the unfollow function is free! don’t tell me to shut up on my own blog while spouting your nonsense! be gone!
boy: what cup size are u
me: world
instagrarn:

reading vine comments is an art
merasmus:

stone cold